How to Eat Your Way Into a Gelato Spokesperson Role

It’s been almost a year since I started my blog. I think I have maybe one dozen entries. It’s weird that I say that I love to write so much, but I never really write. Why is that we say we love to do a lot of things, but we never do them? There was a bumper sticker on a truck at Sprouts today that said “If it isn’t fun, why do it?” Man, ain’t that the truth. I mean, that’s really the reason I don’t shave above my knees that often, because it’s not fun. It’s also the reason I don’t wear pants a lot, because it’s not fun. In fact, there’s a pile of clothes that are about 5’9” sitting by my front door. Every night, I disrobe (a term I use to sound sexy) as I’m walking into my apartment and drop my clothes before I even shut the door. Oh, how do I know that pile is 5’9”?  I stood back to back with them and looked at my reflection in the creepy apartment dining room mirror that’s like some horror movie out of the 90’s waiting to happen. And that pile of clothes had an inch on me, for sure.

Speaking of Ice Cream ( I consider Ice Cream a proper noun), do you guys ever just want to eat Ice Cream/Gelato all day? I don’t know if that’s called depression or gluttony, but whatever it is, I have it. BIG TIME. I work late sometimes, so I try to get up early, But sometimes I end up sleeping in until 9 or 10am. At that point, I just wait until about 10:31am to eat b/c most fast food restaurants are serving lunch at 10:30 (and I don’t want to be too ahead of the game) which means I can confidently eat Ice Cream at that time, because who doesn’t love dessert first?

Dreamy Talenti Gelato Pops. Photo Courtesy: Seriouseats.com

I don’t eat out a lot, (pause for laughter), I really prefer to cook at home. Not because I don’t like to feel fancy while I pay people to wait on me, but because I love food so hard that I can’t really control myself when I’m at a restaurant, or in a car in the drive thru. If I don’t buy it, then I can’t eat it. EXCEPT for Ice Cream or any other member of it’s family.  I usually buy groceries in small amounts so I’m not wasteful. But I’ve been to Sprouts three times since Saturday to buy Talenti Gelato pops. And when I eat them I pretend I’ve just been cast in some glorious National SAG commercial for Talenti and my agent has asked me to really dive deep into the role because I’m going to be the Talenti spokesperson, you know, like Flo for Progressive, but with Sea Salt Caramel Gelato instead of blue insurance.  And then I realize I’m just sitting in my underwear watching Sponge Bob Square Pants with no clue how I landed on that station.

Dreams, y’all. Dreams. You gotta have dreams.

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